Listen up, my brother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All your life you have been told to \u201cman up\u201d\u2014carry the weight of the family in the absence of a father, to provide, to protect, to never let your guard down. In Trinidad and Tobago, that message echoes in the rum shop, on the football field, in the lime, and even in the workplace. Those same words that were meant to make you strong have also kept you silent. A heavy, unbearable silence that is weighing you down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Movember\u2019 began in Australia in 2003 as a playful act\u2014men growing moustaches in November\u2014but its purpose runs far deeper. It\u2019s about changing the face of men\u2019s health worldwide: tackling prostate cancer, testicular cancer, mental health, and suicide prevention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The moustache is just the spark, the visible symbol that starts conversations men often avoid. When someone asks, \u201cWhy the moustache?\u201d it opens the door to talk about what really matters: your health, your struggles, your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s about unmasking the mask you\u2019ve worn for years that says \u2018I\u2019m fine\u2019 when inside you\u2019re drowning. It\u2019s about saying out loud what you\u2019ve been carrying alone: despair, hopelessness, nights when you wonder if it\u2019s worth going on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In T&T, too many men are slipping into despair, weighed down by expectations to be stoic, to never show weakness, to face unemployment, relationship breakdowns, or loneliness without saying a word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Male suicide rates have been rising, and the silence around it\u2014the conversations that are not held\u2014is deafening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A brother\u2019s voice<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n One young man shared with me his struggle. These are his own words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI have been suffering from anxiety and depression for some time now. At first, I thought it was a medical problem and continuously raced to the hospital, only to hear that they found nothing wrong with me. I did not know my mental health was the issue. I began crying for no reason and had panic attacks. I never believed in depression and anxiety until facing it myself now. This is worse than any flu or sickness I have ever had, as it seems impossible to fight this demon inside my head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI have good days, but mostly bad, as I hope and pray for relief. There are times when I feel suicidal, where I can\u2019t sleep at night and these heavy, dark thoughts possess my mind, and it\u2019s hard to fight back. These times I cry and remind myself I have a wife to live for, and parents and family who try to help even though they are not sure of what to do. The crying is bad. I hide it from my family. I don\u2019t want them to see me this weak. It\u2019s a struggle every day which I have to fight, and a battle I think I am losing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Strength reimagined<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n This man\u2019s struggle is not unique. His words echo the silent battles many of you fight daily. His words may be yours, too. Perhaps you\u2019ve felt the same panic, the same sleepless nights, the same tears you hide from your family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He thought it was a medical problem and kept going to the hospital. Many men do the same\u2014seeking physical explanations because mental health feels alien or shameful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You need to know that strength isn\u2019t about how much you can hold in. Strength is about how much courage it takes to let go of the mask you put on and say, \u2018I need help\u2019 or say, \u2018I\u2019m human. I hurt. And I deserve to heal\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is not weakness, despite whatever you have been taught as a child. This taking off the mask of pain is bravery. The crying, panic attacks, sleepless nights, suicidal thoughts\u2014these are not signs of failure, but signs of distress. By naming them openly, you give other men permission to recognise their own experiences without shame as this man has done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I have found that many men often respond better to informal, peer-led spaces than to clinical settings. In the lime, the fellas around the table, the banter, the laughter\u2014that\u2019s more than just passing time\u2014that\u2019s connection. And connection saves lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When you open up to a friend, when you check in on a brother, you\u2019re building a safety net. You\u2019re reminding each other: we are in this together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Son, husband, friend, nephew, brother, if you\u2019re reading this and you feel the weight pressing down, know this: you are not alone. You don\u2019t have to carry it all. Talk to someone. Reach out. Take off the mask.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Movember, the symbol of this month in November, is your reminder that your life matters, your voice matters, and your pain deserves to be heard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Too many men feel they are losing this battle. But battles should not be fought alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One last thing: reaching out to men isn\u2019t about convincing them to do therapy. It\u2019s about meeting them where they already are\u2014in the lime, on the field, in faith spaces\u2014and reframing mental health as strength, resilience, and brotherhood. Simple practices like deep breathing, meditation, or grounding exercises help men manage anxiety and stress. Framing mindfulness as \u2018mental fitness\u2019 rather than therapy also makes it more acceptable. The mask of silence has cost too many lives. It\u2019s time to unmask. Take care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n By Dr Margaret Nakhid-Chatoor Credit \u2013\u00a0<\/em>The Catholic News, (catholictt.org) <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Psychologist and educator
mncpsych17@gmail.com<\/p>\n\n\n\n
See the original article\u00a0here<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n