This year, Mother’s Day is celebrated on May 11. Motherhood is often portrayed as a joyful and fulfilling experience, but for many women, it is also a time of emotional and psychological strain. While society celebrates mothers for the many sacrifices they make, it often overlooks the silent battles they face, particularly when it comes to their mental health.
Instead of receiving support, mothers who struggle with depression, anxiety or other mental health conditions are met with stigma from family, co-workers and even friends, and this has lasting consequences for their children, shaping their emotional well-being and future relationships.
Children raised by mothers struggling with untreated mental illness often experience emotional instability, attachment difficulties, and increased risks of developing anxiety-related disorders and depression themselves.
Josie’s story
The school principal had called in Josie’s mother on several occasions to take her daughter home. Josie was a brilliant child, only ten years old and had begun to self-harm (cutting herself on her arms). She was constantly crying and did not do any of her homework. In her notebooks were simple drawings of sad faces, and she had told her friends, little people like herself, that she wanted to die. They told Miss. Further investigations revealed that Josie and her three siblings were often left alone for many hours while Mum slept, or went on shopping sprees or cried and took tablets. The father had left the family for another.
Daniel’s dilemma
Daniel’s parents were success stories. To the public, the family was the perfect example of what society expected. Daniel was 17 years old, attended a prestigious school and wanted to be a lawyer. He battled with extreme mood swings, hitting his mother on occasion, and cursing like a sailor. His father turned a blind eye to his son’s unravelling distress as he was too busy. His mother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, on medication and an alcoholic.
The reality mothers face
Motherhood comes with immense responsibilities, and the pressure to be the “perfect mother” can be overwhelming. Those mothers who experience post-partum depression, anxiety disorders, and other mental health challenges, as depicted in the scenarios above, often feel compelled to hide their struggles due to societal expectations. Studies show that common disorders such as anxiety, depression and self-harm account for nearly half of the mental health burden among young adults in Trinidad and Tobago.
Many of these individuals grew up in households where maternal mental health struggles were ignored or dismissed. Children who witness their mothers battling mental illness without support may internalise feelings of neglect, guilt or confusion. As adults, they struggle with relationships, self-esteem, and may even have their own mental health challenges.
While mothers facing mental health struggles endure specific hardships, even those who appear “normal” by societal standards carry an immense weight. For many women, motherhood is exhausting, demanding and often thankless, and they feel overlooked and expected to manage everything without complaint—from childcare to household responsibilities to professional careers.
We celebrate mothers on Mother’s Day, but what about the other 364 days of the year? Support should be ongoing, and not just symbolic gestures or fleeting recognition.
This Mother’s Day (and in subsequent days) if you recognise that your Mum, sister, daughter, niece or friend is struggling to cope, you can do the following:
Give emotional support—Let her know she’s not alone. A listening ear, or simply reminding her that she is valued and loved can go a long way. Create a safe space where she can express her feelings without fear of judgment.
Offer practical help—Whether it is taking over household chores, preparing meals, or looking after the kids, small acts of service can ease her stress.
Simple acts of kindness—A clean space, or even letting her rest for a while can make a huge difference to the mother who is overwhelmed.
Prioritise self-care—Encourage her to take time for herself, even if it’s just a quiet moment with a book or a walk outside. Mother’s Day doesn’t have to be a grand affair. A nice family gathering, or simply letting her rest can be more meaningful than gifts.
To conclude, motherhood should not be synonymous with silent suffering. This kind of silence is dangerous as it leads to burnout, untreated depression, and even worsening mental health conditions. It also teaches children—especially daughters—that suffering in silence is normal, continuing the “culture of silence” and the cycle of stigma for generations.
By breaking the stigma, advocating for better policies, and fostering a culture of support, we can ensure that mothers receive the care they deserve. When mothers thrive, their children thrive, and society as a whole benefits from the mental health and well-being of our mothers. Take care. Happy Mother’s Day.
DR MARGARET NAKHID-CHATOOR
Credit – Express Newspaper, (trinidadexpress.com)
See the original article here.
